9/30 - Weekend adventure

Though the official start of fall was a week ago, today is really the first day that feels like it. The forecast is for lower temperatures, and unfortunately, rain. It is definitely sweater weather. We are heading to Niagara Falls with Nina, since that was her big request. Plans are made for Sunday dinner, since my sister and her husband will be in Aruba.

Today has been partly a day to catch up. The only thing on the docket is taking the Mamá to PT. I spent the morning doing a "spa day": hair gloss, pedicure, exercise and just catching my breath. I will pick up Nina after her class, since she forgot bus money to get home, go to PT and then finalize packing and pick Bob up at school. We'll leave straight from there.

The crazy, big, rocking news for the day is that Patti had a heart attack. I'm assuming it was a mild one, but  the enzymes definitely show it was there. So she is in the hospital in Beaver County and we are all in shock. It can seriously rattle you when someone you hang out with regularly has a heart attack.

9/29 - This is more like it

Little by little, things are starting to balance out. So far this week, every project has worked out and our plans for the next few weeks are falling into place. We have finalized the Niagara Falls arrangement (Nina's one request while she is here) and have gotten a ticket to a hockey game for the last week. Next Friday will be high school football, not sure yet which school, and things are running smoothly here at home.

Yesterday I took the plunge and did a role-playing interview for a very flexible part-time job. I don't want to jinx the results  by talking about it, but suffice it to say it is something I would do for free, and yet I would get paid! I think I did pretty well-the feedback from the committee was very positive- but I won't know for sure until next week when I'll be informed by email.

We also had an interesting occurrence here. The rehearsing and filming for the Tom Cruise movie has begun and they have been racing around the Sand Castle parking lot for days. When Gary brought Mom home from PT yesterday, there was a car parked and two men with a camera that had the longest lens I've ever seen. They were actually paparazzi, trying to get a better view of the Sand Castle lot. They thought the street would do it, but with the trees still leaved that didn't work. I took them through the woods to get a better vantage point from the place we used to play baseball. They were very happy with the results, and showed me the shots on their camera that might sell. So, check the celebrity mags. And remember that it might be all due to me!

Today was my "day off," or at least partially. I had to take my car in for inspection, so I called Rose and John to see if they wanted to do Panera for breakfast. They rescued me in time from a whining three-year-old at the dealership waiting room and we enjoyed conversation. My car was done fast and I got a lot of paperwork done when I got home. Now going down to help the Mamá take a bath and then get her to do some ironing for me.

Life is good.

9/26 - Trying to catch up

I won't bore with clichés about how I don't know how I fit in working, but they are true. Let's just let it go at that. The gardening project continues, I need to fit in cleaning the house, and I need my calendar more than ever.

This weekend brought a family wedding, one I never thought we'd see. Bob's cousin Greg got married to the woman he brought to last Christmas dinner. She has a 19-year-old daughter with Down's Syndrome, and the ceremony reflected that they were now a family, not just a couple. It was very touching, and good to see the family at a happy occasion.

The roof work continued at my mother's and we finally resolved the satellite dish problems. I have come to realize that the house will be an ongoing thing to work on as long as we own it. Unlike ours, there are updates and maintenance that haven't been taken care of, so we'll be doing that now.

In the meantime, how to stay serene. Hmmmm, better stop skipping yoga workouts. Time to get to work!

9/22 How did this happen?

I realized today that if I didn't post, the meaning of it all would soon be lost. I have spent much time in the last two weeks helping our guest, a young lady from Germany, settle into American life. Nina will be with us until mid-October and is taking English classes at Point Park University. Her English is very good and she tested into the Masters class, but her afternoon class is conversation practice and film study. That group is very basic, but she is making the best of it and plans to talk with the instructor today to see if she can help out with the more basic students or do extra work to help herself advance.

Last Saturday the three of us toured the Carrie Furnace site so that she could get an idea of the history of the area we live in. About an hour after we arrived home, our friend Charlie cycled in on his way to St. Louis. He spent until Sunday morning with us, but we had a very good visit. As it turned out, shin splints caused him to leave off his trip yesterday and fly home to Boston from Columbus. He was fine on the bike, but any walking was extremely painful and he was afraid of doing permanent damage. We thoroughly enjoyed the time he was here, and we all vowed that we would not let four more years go by until we see each other. We are going to plan either a weekend in Boston or some days next June in P'town.

The other exciting thing is that I have a role-playing interview next week with the Standardized Patient program at Pitt. In this program, people play the roles of patients to help medical students hone their communication skills with patients. The phone interview I had yesterday went very well and they invited me for the next stage before the end of the day. This would be a very flexible option that pays fairly well and is much more palatable than subbing. I feel fairly nervous about it, especially since our friend Jay is involved. But I think it's an adventure I'm willing to try.

Nina has fit into the household well, and seems to like my cooking. She has not rejected any dishes yet, and pronounced my grilled chicken and vegetables "delicious." Tonight's dinner is shredded beef sandwiches at Ward and Terri's. I will bring roasted salt and vinegar potatoes. We're going to watch the season premiere of The Big Bang Theory together!

9/13 - Moving along

What a difference a day makes. After my mother's heartfelt declaration on Thursday night, Friday morning brought disaster. At 5:30 a.m., she fell getting out of bed and had to crawl to the phone, since she couldn't reach the one on her bed. She finally reached me at 8:00 and I had to rescue her, not an easy task and one for which the details are best left out. I took her to see the Physician's Assistant at her PCP's office and she was sent home with a splint. She wanted to do PT and I thought that would be a good idea, since she was going to be stiff from the fall and her long crawl. It seemed to take the starch out of her a little and we are trying to build her back up, both physically and psychologically.

Over the weekend, we had the chance to see some friends we don't get to be with very much. I am still reeling from the news that the wife of one couple has some symptoms of early onset Alzheimers or at least some form of serious dementia. Apparently they have been wrestling with this for many years, but I managed to miss that bulletin. They both look terrified under a very thin veneer of coping. The situation has haunted me since I found out, because they are only 65, retired a few years ago and have been living a great life with their young grandchildren nearby. The husband is trying to keep it together and keep things rolling as normally as possible, but this will be very hard on him as he is a planner and organizer and I know from experience with this disease with others that some things are unpredictable.

It really has me thinking about the value of what we have. I worry some about Bob, since his father died with Alzheimers, but he does everything right, i.e., all the things the articles say help stave if off. Still, it is a haunting thought.

So, I will return with thoughts about life and school and such tomorrow, but today am still a little rocked by the news.

P.S. - We finally did get my mom's hand x-rayed and she has a hairline fracture on her left ring finger. The ortho doc splinted it differently and it seems to feel better.

9/8 Visiting

Last night my mother called and said, "I am feeling so much better and it's because of you making me do physical therapy." It reminded me of students who hate the assignments, fight you all the way, try to get out of doing things, but in the end are happy they learned something. So the gratifying feeling from bumping into someone years after you've taught them and finding out they loved your class is still here.

I straightened out the online version of the subbing system so that I will no longer get phone calls at 5:30 in the morning. I really have very mixed feelings about subbing. I would like to see the 7th graders I monitored last year in the cafeteria as sixth graders, but I don't particularly want to tangle with the administrators. I'd like to see the 9th graders and Shawna, but don't necessarily want to deal with the high school. At the moment it's a moot point, since there really isn't time. 

I've given myself a day off from PT duties next Friday. Gary will take over and do the routine. That's the day it's possible that Charlie will arrive in Pittsburgh, and it will just be nice to have a day without that obligation. I know that if I don't give myself an occasional break, things won't go well. I find myself gritting my teeth a couple of times a day, but all in all things are going well with my mother.

Monday, Nina arrives from Germany. I spent some time the other night checking on bus schedules for her. I'm not sure how she'll feel about the bike routes that are possible now. One of the two main bike trails into the city is closed on week days and requires a walk along railroad tracks to join. The other trail has a ridiculous detour, and takes some road riding to get there. Since her classes start at 8:30 a.m., she'd be riding during rush hour. I figure I can take her on a dry run and see what she thinks. 

Dinner tonight: stir-fried beef with broccoli.

9/7 Catching up

Last night a facebook friend posted a link to a CNN article about what teachers would like to say to parents. What struck me is that the author used an analogy I've been using for years, but in a different way. When people complained about school taxes or teacher salaries, I would always ask, "If your child is sick, do you look for the cheapest doctor? If your child is in trouble, do you find the cheapest lawyer?" I never could understand why people thought it would be a good idea to hunt for the cheapest possible educators to to the one thing that might affect their children's lives the most.

I think the problem is that people don't think of the education part. Most people look at teachers as people who enforce silly rules that prevented them from doing exactly what they wanted to do when they were in school.What most people seem to object to when they think back on their education is that they were forced to do things and learn things that they weren't interested in, as if their interests are all that matter. They remember the assignments they thought were pointless without stopping to think about what they learned from doing them. Teachers, to them, are the butt of jokes in movies and the scapegoats for everything that goes wrong in society.

We were recently at a family reunion picnic that involved three large families. Someone related to my cousin has a son with severe autism. My mother expressed dismay at how difficult it was for his family to help him navigate that social situation and what patience it took. My comment was, "Can you imagine being a teacher who has that child and maybe four more like him in a room with 25 other students and trying to help everyone achieve a goal?"

My problem in the last few years of teaching was not mainly with parents. Sure, there was the occasional parent who refused to see the reality of their child's situation. I had one father, I'll call him "Jim," whose first email to me had a friendly tone. His son had marginal grades all year, but it didn't become an issue until his grades kept him from playing baseball. (Notice that we made it all the way to spring without an email or phone call.) When I said that the homework missed was a done deal, and that I didn't offer bonus, but I would be willing to help him from there on, he even suggested that I make the boy do the work he missed even if it didn't count. "Though I think it should," he added. In any case, before replying to him, I spoke with the student.

"What seems to be the problem in my class?" I asked. "Your father has questions, and I wanted to hear your side of it before I got back to him."

"I don't study and I don't really try," he said. Okay, that's what I had thought, but didn't realize he was quite so conscious of it.

I relayed that information to the father along with my offer to help his son if he came to me during a period of the day set aside for that purpose. My only requirement was that he would need to do that on his own, that I would not hunt him down or remind him. And that the work he neglected to do for the first weeks of the grading period would not count, but that there was plenty of time left to bring up a failing grade if he did the remainder of the work.

Suddenly "Jim" became "Mr. James F. Parent, L.L.R.C., or some other collection of initials. That reply had been cc'ed to my principal. Because I didn't give him the reply he wanted, he would show me that he had authority over me. In my next email, I reiterated my position, but this time, instead of signing "Maggie Holder," I signed it "Margaret C. Holder, M.S. Ed." I think he got the point. The issue went no further.

I wish I could say that the student dutifully came in and did the required work in a stellar fashion, but that was not the case. Once the father realized I wouldn't be bullied, he gave up and the boy squeaked by with a D. But he could play in the outfield and that was important, since he might get a scholarship for that. Never mind that he won't be able to handle college work and that universities don't routinely collapse under the demands of parents.

The beat goes on. Earlier this summer I read a review of the book "The Help" in which the author points out that in most societies, including those considered by us to be "primitive," the rearing of children is considered to be an important and sacred job. Nonetheless, many of the richest of our society relegate to those whose humanity they barely acknowledge. So it is with teachers. We're fine as long as we don't cause waves. That's why so many children find themselves adrift.

The link: http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/06/living/teachers-want-to-tell-parents/index.html

Dinner tonight is jambalaya from Paul Prudhomme's cookbook, lent to me by my good friend Karen.

9/6 - Good morning!!!

So, it was inevitable, I should have been expecting it. But the 5:30 a.m. call to report substitute opportunities was just annoying! I received instructions during the summer about how to enroll in the substitute reporting system that my district uses, but since it only gave instructions for the phone version and not the online system, I ignored it.

So today, now that students have been in school for a full week and teachers almost two weeks, they need subs. My former colleagues have instructions to shoot me if I ever came in to sub, and most of them do own firearms. Remember, it's Pennsylvania, where we even get the first day of deer hunting season off. I actually might have to rescind the instructions, since my retirement was earlier than I had planned, but I certainly was not ready for the call this morning. I never really got back to sleep, so this morning was fairly productive.

The weather dictates that all household accomplishments will be taking place indoors for most of this week, so I did get to some tasks that had taken a back seat to the landscaping extravaganza. Sunday we managed to put in some shrubs, just in time to catch the rain that's been falling since. Today I am legitimately wearing jeans and long sleeves, since it is only about 60 and doesn't promise to get much warmer. I am still waiting for the perfect "second cup of tea on the porch swing" weather.

Some former students on facebook are struggling with papers they are writing about Huck Finn. I forgot how much I enjoy those discussions. Maybe if I do sub, I can make sure to get some English classes. In the meantime, I have actually made time for some meaningful reading. Bob read and passed on 1491. It's an account of the Americas before Columbus, based on some new research, interpretations and thinking. Some of it is slow going, but it feels good to flex my "brain muscles." When I finish it, I will follow him in a reading of "The Island at the Center of the World," a history of New York recommended by our friend Carolyn.

My early start earned me some extra time later in the week for such pursuits. So I continue to tackle the jobs one at a time and work on mom's physical well-being.

Dinner tonight: Mexican chicken with sour cream and chilis, accompanied by leftover penne with black beans, spinach and peppers and some homemade guacamole.

9/4 Catching up

Friday was a day that I suspect will be more typical of this new life I'm leading. After 26 years of sticking to a lesson plan, I have a tendency to schedule my day almost to the minute. Things have been going fairly smoothly, especially in the Physical Therapy department. My mom is making good progress and actually asked to have her routine bumped up to include some upper body work.

Before PT, though, I had set the goal of getting the lower bank weeded once and for all. I was making good progress when a car that had passed slowly and turned around stopped in front of the house. When I approached, the man inside asked how long the house had been gone. It turned out to be the husband of one of my mom's cousins who had grown up there. I got him caught up on the situation, showed him the pictures, and he relayed the news of his family to me. I lost about a half-hour in that process, so didn't get the holes dug for the new boxwoods. Ah, well.

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. I checked on my friend who is taking sick leave and deciding what to do. I worry that she might be depressed over the situation, since she pretty much relies on her daughters for her support and they're both out of town. I think she'll be okay, but it is not a pleasant way to end a career.

My last paycheck has come (and gone!) so now this is for real. I will be setting up my pension benefits to coordinate with my 55th birthday and the wheels are in motion for our savings/investments to tide us over until my first check arrives. Scary.

9/1 News

Well, count another one out. I heard yesterday that a long-time colleague who had been in guidance and returned suddenly to the classroom because of budget cuts left. In the long run it will be good for her because the whole situation was so stressful, but it was not a good way to go out.

In the morning paper, the Extra section had a round-up of facts about each school district in the region. Besides the basics, like names of superintendents and tax rates, there was a blurb about each district. The information was obviously provided by the districts in an attempt to convince residents and potential residents that in spite of the budget cuts, they were soldiering on and offering great things. There were two interesting things about it.

1. Many of the facts were wrong. It listed my husband's school district as starting classes next Thursday, when in fact they started this past Monday.

2. Many of the districts featured the same canned programs and tried to spin negatives into positives. The reading program touted by many places as a plus was the same reading program that my experienced colleagues were frustrated by when they were forced to use it in place of the methods and materials they had had success with for years.

It seems that the upper administrations in the area attend meetings or are part of a network, and when one district tries something you can bet it will show up in most of the other districts in the area before too long. My husband and I use to laugh at the dinner table at this phenomenon. My district would try something for a few years, then by the time we were dropping it, his district would begin to implement the same thing. Or vice versa. Always looking for the magic bullet.

I never understood in my 26 years of teaching and multiple years of preparation why no one trusted teachers' instincts to use the unique blend of personalities and needs of students every year to make things work. That's when things worked the best: when no one watched over my shoulder and I could use my personality to make my students want to work for me. During those times, my lessons might not have fit the required structure that was the latest miracle cure, but I have run into 40-year-olds who still remember lessons and classes that really clicked. But what do I know?

So instead of helping students unravel the mysteries of language acquisition, which is what we'd be doing this first week, I'll be planting shrubs, helping my mom take a bath, making lunch for my cousin and scanning some pictures for her. And that's okay.

Lunch will be an experiment of a polenta bake. Dinner: grilled salmon with the chipotle sauce and baked potato salad.