Picking up the pieces

Well, by now I am at least able to take full breaths and push the panic down to where it doesn't debilitate. I have cried, sworn, slept fitfully, and also had to process Leonard Cohen's death. Watching the news and seeing the smug faces of Gingrich, McConnell and the like still gives me a queasy feeling.

But, here is what I have decided.

I am involved with local government as a Council Person. I am one of two females. To be honest, local government doesn't really involve much partisanship. We vote about which roads to pave, whether to buy a new garbage truck, things like that. The President of Council is a well-meaning man who has been serving for many years. In private once, he told me what an asset I am and that he is happy I am there. In public, he makes jokes about females. But no more in my presence. I plan to call him out about it the next time it happens, the more people there, the better.

I have many relatives, friends and acquaintances who are very conservative. Some of the acquaintances may drop off my radar screen, because turning 60 has helped me reset priorities about how I spend my time and my serenity. With the relatives and friends,  for the most part, there has been an understanding that we will always disagree, so we rarely go there. I usually pass by their facebook posts and choose not to respond in face to face conversations. They are people I love, even if I don't love what they believe.

My issue is that I was raised by a family whose background was of not having much to spare. My mother was one of eleven siblings, eight of whom made it to adulthood. My grandfather, whom I never knew, was injured in a steel mill before the days of unions and protections. So, my Granny went to work and he stayed home and cooked and baked and took care of the children who still needed caring. They both cried almost every day about that. She worked in restaurants and cleaning for people and doing whatever it took to put food on the table.

My mother, 90, lives with us in the house where she was born and raised, where we moved in 1980 to take care of my grandmother. The defining characteristic of life in this house has always been to share and welcome anyone and give them what they need. She talks of how my grandfather would never let anyone leave without having something to eat or drink. And how he stood to one side every day at dinner and didn't eat until he was sure his children had had enough.

That attitude is part of the very structure of this place. I enjoy having people here, and we have made friends of many strangers who have passed through. Throughout the years, we have opened our home, sometimes for months, to people who needed a place to stay and help in whatever endeavor they were involved, whether it was attending school, trying to find a permanent Pittsburgh home, or passing through on their bicycles as they journeyed through the U. S.

We never stopped to think about whether they "deserved" our help and hospitality. We didn't vet them through any agency to see if they might be unworthy. We just opened our door. To be sure, in some very few cases, we may have felt that they actually could have stayed elsewhere without great burden to themselves. But, even in those cases, we found their company and conversation to be interesting enough to have them back.

When I talk to anyone having a bad day, or going through a particularly rough period, or just trying against odds to accomplish something, my immediate reaction is to start thinking about how I might help. Most of my family is the same. I have a cousin whose daughter recently donated a kidney to a 4-year-old stranger, surpassing anything I have ever done to boost someone's efforts or ease their way.

That is why when I hear people talk about whether others "deserve" the help they might be getting, whether through health care, or EBT, or whatever it may be, I literally don't understand the conversation. When people need help, they should get help. Period. It is what Jesus did, it is what my grandparents did, it is what I do. And when the same people who question this consider themselves good Christians (and I know they do, because they tell everyone), it confuses me even more.

This week, we all suffered a blow the effects of which wont be known for a bit. People have been sharing their thoughts. But, here is what else we need to do: act. Share your thoughts through your actions. I have contacted the local Democratic Committee to see what steps I can take to help make a difference in the mid-term elections. I will call out those who use sexism and racism and other forms of intimidation against those of whom they dont approve, when it happens. Most of all, I will continue to help others, regardless of whether they seem to be deserving of my help. Because that is what I do and that is what I think we should all do.

2015 buyer's roundup

So, I have read many reviews of 2015, ranging from best movies to worst Trump quotes. We are in the process of making some changes in the house, both minor and major, and so have been doing more than our fair share of adding to the economy. We usually do consult customer reviews of products we are considering, but if I have friends who have experience with certain items, so much the better. And every now and then, something exceeds expectations, always a pleasant surprise.

In no particular order, here are my favorite purchases of 2015:

Our 4K 55" television. I had no intention of replacing the flat-screen Vizio that still seems new to me until our neighbor and friend mentioned that her husband was having trouble seeing their tv because of vision problems and she wanted to get him a new bigger screen for Christmas. She was going to opt for what seemed like a super deal, but involved an unknown brand. We decided to do a swap and give her our tv, a 42-inch HD that was five years old and hopefully has some good hours left in it and replace it with the new set. I didn't think I would notice the difference, but it is amazing. There is almost a three-dimensionality to the picture, and it amazes me every time I turn it on. P. S. Costco rocks!

Revlon paddle brush dryer. I am still enjoying long hair, which might seem strange unless you know how short my hair was for 20 years. It has just enough wave to be annoying, but not enough to make it  beautifully curly. I use a keratin treatment and a smoothing shampoo, and I was drying it with a regular dryer and a round brush. I spotted an ad for this dryer and thought it might be worth a try. It does exactly what I want it to with my hair and saves me time, space in the bathroom drawer and is much easier to use. 

Pre-lit Christmas tree. We held out, always taking pride in not replacing something unnecessarily, but there it was in Costco, with its switchable lights and remote control. We took the plunge, and I must say that the 10 minutes it took to assemble (as opposed to two hours), was worth every penny. 

Water-Pik water flosser. I have always had a problem with accumulating plaque, and that is probably enough said. After my last dental checkup, which included the half-hour of scraping and other indignities, I decided that see if the Water-Pik would make a difference. Costco (hmm, they should pay me!) had one which included a smaller travel unit, so I have been able to use it every night except during our trip to England, and I think it is making a difference. I will know at my next checkup, and just like the Christmas tree thing, the les time spent doing that the better.

Apple Watch. You all saw this one coming, right? As David Pogue said, no one "needs" one of these, but I decided to treat myself last spring and have not regretted it. It has helped in exactly the ways I hoped it would. I can discreetly check incoming calls when I am at meetings, I can see who is calling when I am on the bike, and in a pinch, answer. It can check emails quickly and track my daily exercise and activity, and I can even make it tap my wrist every time the score changes in a Penguins game.

So, for what it is worth, those are y thoughts about those particular items. Sad, in a way, that we are so surprised when something turns out to be worth it, but hey. Better than the other way around.